


Weather the Storm

by jamesm97



Series: My 9-1-1 Fics [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Buckley-Diaz family, Dad Evan "Buck" Buckley, Diaz Family Feels, Dreams and Nightmares, Established Relationship, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Tsunami (9-1-1), Protective Evan "Buck" Buckley, Worried Eddie Diaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22452805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamesm97/pseuds/jamesm97
Summary: “How am I supposed to talk to you? How am I supposed to tell you that the dreams I’m having are where I lose your kid, how I’m responsible for his death and that you’re in them too and you give me this look that makes everything inside me wither and die because I’m the reason your son died, I’m the reason Chris nearly drowned in a tsunami in real life too, how the hell can you stand to be anywhere around me let alone love me?”
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Series: My 9-1-1 Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615612
Comments: 19
Kudos: 367





	Weather the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> Don't know how I feel about this one.

The rain pounded on the windows echoing in the otherwise quiet station, 3 am and no calls since 11.30 pm mean the team went straight to the bunk room after restocking the ambulance and ladder truck.

The Derecho storm raging throughout LA was one of the biggest Los Angeles has seen in quite a few years, thankfully it’s just a low-grade storm the rain was coming down heavy but thankfully no signs of flash floods or tornadoes just really bad heavy rain.

The shift was over in four hours the end of a really bad 36-hour shift for the team, most of them were still damp from the calls, most of which were just fender benders due to low visibility or knocked down signs and debris caused by the wind.

Eddie wasn’t sure what woke him up as he blinks groggily at the ceiling, he closes his eyes again revelling in the sound of the rain against the building, he’s always liked the rain, like the way it sounds as it hits heavy on the ground or against windows and metal.

The small sob in the bed next to him has his head swivelling to see what was wrong with Buck, his younger teammate hiccupping out a constant stream of “apologies” 

Eddie reaches across a couple of inches gap and manages to get his hand on Buck’s arm he starts rubbing soothing circles on the patch of bare skin he’s about to whisper soothing words like he does when Christopher has a nightmare but Buck shoots up in the small bed “Christopher” is the guttural moan that escapes his lips, his throat so raw as if he’s been screaming for hours.

Eddie’s heart breaks at the sound and he’s stunned for a moment as Buck gasps and looks around the room, Buck’s wild eyes land on Eddie’s and the haunted look in his eyes makes Eddie fully get out of his bed practically throwing himself on Buck as he gathers the younger man into his arms.

“Shush it’s okay, Christopher is fine he’s with Abuela, it’s probably just the rain that brought it back to you, Chris gets them too” Eddie soothes he feels Buck’s shoulders shake as he buries his sob in Eddie’s chest.

“I lost him… I lost him again and I could hear his screams, I couldn’t get to him” Buck sobs.

“It was just a nightmare Buck, Chris is fine” Eddie tries to sooth but Buck starts to shake his head pulling back to look at Eddie “Something feels wrong I need to see him,” Buck tells him attempting to untangle himself from the mess of sheets and blankets he was in.

“Buck I’ll take you to see him after the shift you just need to calm down” 

“Take him to see Chris” Eddie’s head whips around and looks at the Captain that’s stood at the door his eyes focused on Buck, Eddie notices Chim and Hen have left the room, they were snoring not a minute ago ”He’s not going to calm down until he sees him shifts almost over anyway, after the tsunami Athena has nightmares sometimes that the kids were lost in it and it was only seeing them that calmed her down too,” Bobby tells him his eyes conveying more than his words could.

Buck would be more harm than good on a call out the state that he’s in.

Eddie just nods.

Buck’s already out the door and running to get changed.

Eddie follows him at a hurried pace not wanting Buck to do something stupid like go alone.

///////////////

“Fuck sake” Buck shouts the traffic was slower than ever in LA with the storm the twenty-minute journey has already stretched to 35 and they’re still 10 away from his Abuela’s house.

“Want to talk about it?” 

“No, I just need to see if Chris is okay” 

“I love him to you know,” Eddie says in a joking tone of voice he sighs when Buck just gives him a blank look “I love you too, Buck”

“Damn its Eddie” Buck hisses his head collapsing into his hands.

“What?” Eddie questions as he drives forward a little bit.

“You think now’s the right time to say I love you for the first time? When I’m triggering word away from a full-on panic attack?” 

“I think now is the perfect time to tell you I love you” he reaches over and entwines his hand in Buck’s who instinctively tightens his hold on Eddie’s hand. “I need you to know how much I love and adore you, how much my heart swells when I see how much you love Christopher, but it kills me because I love you so much that when you hurt like this you don’t talk to me” 

“How am I supposed to talk to you? How am I supposed to tell you that the dreams I’m having are where I lose your kid, how I’m responsible for his death and that you’re in them too and you give me this look that makes everything inside me wither and die because I’m the reason your son died, I’m the reason Chris nearly drowned in a tsunami in real life too, how the hell can you stand to be anywhere around me let alone love me?” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t realise you were mother nature,” Eddie says the words escaping his mouth without thought he mentally curses himself but once they’re out he realises maybe tough love is what he needs.

“Excuse me?” Buck asks finally looking at Eddie his hand pulling away from Eddie’s hand.

“You can’t cause natural disasters, Evan, you can’t stop tsunami’s or earthquakes, if you could you’d be a god or something out of those Percy Jackson books you read with Chris, you did what you did best you protected people you saved multiple lives that day including Christopher’s and I will always love you for that, that’s how I look back on that that you saved my son, you were there for him when I couldn’t be, I didn’t even know you guys were in danger you wanna blame anyone blame me, I made you take him out, you were just being a good dad” 

The raindrops on the car sound like gunshots the silence in the car is that deafening.

“Dad?” Buck asks the words like cannons after the moment of silence.

Eddie just rolls his eyes “Please you're more of a dad to him than most fathers out there with kids, he’s had to stop himself from calling you dad before that’s not the issue, the issue is you need to start seeing yourself the way Christopher and I see you”

Eddie chances a look at Buck and the tears are close to spilling over and Eddie’s eye’s get blurry for a second as well.

“How is it that you see me?” Buck asks it’s so quiet it was almost swallowed by the rain.

“Your everything to us,” Eddie says the words spilling out the smile coming onto his face is so wide he looks like that freaking cat off Alice in wonderland.

“I love you both so much and it scares me” Buck admits “I’m only used to worrying about Maddie, and that’s only a recent thing too she used to be so distant from me, for obvious reasons, my parents are dicks, but you both I’ve never felt the way I do about anyone before and the thought of one of you being hurt does something inside me and it’s like I can’t cope until I make sure you’re okay” 

“I went through that” Eddie says putting the car in park in his Abuela’s drive and turning in the seat to face Buck taking his hands again “I never got the chance to love Christopher like a father should till I got back from serving, of course, he was my son and I love him but it wasn’t till I saw him, saw how sick he was that I felt that horrible protective love that literally rips your heart out of your chest at the thought of something happening”

“How’d you deal with it because it’s driving me crazy” Buck asks giving a small smile to Eddie his eyes practically pleading.

“Oh I still feel it, feel it every time Chris tries to do something on his own or does something new, feel it when your being an idiot and trying to get yourself killed on a call, I feel the need to wrap you both up in cotton wool and shove you’s inside those massive protective ball things even when we're just sat on the couch” 

“That’s no help” Buck laughs bringing Eddie’s hands up to his lips then using his own hand to wipe away his tears.

“You get used to the feeling being in the back of your mind baby, I use my need to protect you both to keep me alive every single day, every decision I make in and out of work is with you and Christopher in mind, I make sure I don’t do anything stupid so I don’t get hurt, so I’m always here to protect you”

“Doesn’t it drive you crazy?” Buck questions with a frown.

“With the way you dive headfirst into danger. The way you seem to attract injuries, abso-fucking-loutly, drives me crazy when Chris refuses help and does everything on his own as well, but I remind myself that those things are what I love about yourself and there’s a fine line between loving someone and suffocating them if I had my way and I intervened every time you did something or did everything for Chris when he asks me not to you’d both end up resenting me for taking away the thing that makes the both of you, who you are”

“How’d you get so wise?” Buck chuckles leaning across the console to pull him into a small kiss that’s wetter than it normally is with Buck’s tears, it's more out of a reminder that they're both still here than anything romantic.

“I’ve talked about this a hell of a lot in therapy” Eddie chuckles.

“Let’s go see our boy yeah?” Buck questions wiping his eyes and looks out to where his Abuela’s house would be if the windshield wasn’t completely drenched.

They make a dash for the front porch, they’re out in the rain ten seconds but they’re soaked to the bone, Eddie frowns when he notices lights on inside the house.

He uses his key and makes his way inside expecting them to be asleep at 5 in the morning, they’re in the kitchen his Abeula nursing a cup of coffee and Christopher nursing something steaming as well, probably hot chocolate.

The sound of the beads moving on the kitchen doorway makes them both look up and Eddie frowns at the tear marks on Chris’s face.

“Buck” Chris says and the tears spill from his eyes retracing the tracks still on his face.

Buck throws himself down on the ground so hard Eddie’s sure he broke a kneecap, but it breaks his heart as he sees both of his boys crying together.

“He had a nightmare Buck died trying to save him,” His Abuela tells him offering him her coffee he takes a sip and puts it back on the table.

“Buck too,” Eddie tells her leaning down pulling them both into a hug as he lets them get out what they need to.

Sometimes all’s you can do is sit through the tears and remind people your still here listening and always will be.

**Author's Note:**

> How was it? If you have any prompts let me know!!!!


End file.
